Attorney Willie Gary Paying $28,000 a Month in Child Support
Child support payments of $28,000 a month.
That’s what high profile attorney Willie Gary is paying his former lover Diana Gowins monthly.
Damn, that’s a lot of money
Well it wasn’t always that way. In the beginning he was giving her $28,000 a month. But then he started getting an inkling she wasn’t using this money just for taking care of the twins they had together. According to the court documents, it turns out Diana wasn’t putting the money into the two kid’s college fund like she promised! She was splurging the money on cruises without the kids, tummy tucks, a Steinway piano, and designer clothes. She also spent thousands on private school tuition and diamonds for her oldest child, a teenage daughter from a previous relationship. Yes, diamonds.
Willie Gary got pissed
So what happened next was that Willie Gary, along with his lawyers, argued in November of 2005 to Fulton County Superior Court Judge Cynthia Wright that Diana Gowins was misusing the child support to pay for things not directly related to the well being of their children together. I mean, seriously, tummy tucks and cruises? I’d be pissed off too!
They ended up winning the case and his child support payments were reduced to more modest $5000 a month, leaving Diana with presumably only one cruise every two months, instead of weekly. The judge then told Gowins, a former nurse, to go back to work and quit going crazy with her lavish spending but she refused to do so. She responded to the judge that she has a right to be a stay-at-home mom.
After a little bit, it seemed Diana didn’t like her bimonthly cruises and wanted them back up to a weekly schedule. So Diana Gowins took Willie Gary back to court to contest the reduction in child support payments.
Georgia Court of Appeals rejects the reduction
The Georgia Court of Appeals decides to side with the mother, Diana, thereby throwing out the previous ruling by Judge Cynthia Wright. The child support payments have now been re-raised to $28,000 a month.
“It’s a big decision,” said Diana Gowins’ attorney, Randy Kessler. After reading a copy of the ruling by the appellate court he faxed a letter to Willie Gary that afternoon with a demand for $300,000 immediately in order to catch up with the difference from the time that Willie was only paying $5000 a month. After this, Kessler expects Willie to resume the regular monthly payments of $28,000.
Willie Gary makes a salary of about $13,000,000 (that’s 13 million) a year, so according to Diana Gowin’s lawyer, the child support payments of $28,000 are comparable to a man earning an annual salary of $130,000 paying $280 a month for their twins.
“He agreed to it,” says Diana’s lawyer Randy Kessler. “He can afford it. He can’t just change his mind.”
Willie Gary taking it to the Georgia Supreme Court
The plot thickens. Willie Gary and his Atlanta attorney, Kenny Schatten, are now planning on appealing the decision to the Georgia Supreme Court.
“I just look at this decision [by the appellate court] as a small hurdle,” he said.
$28 thousand a month in child support isn’t chump change, even for the $13 million dollar man Willie Gary.
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I agree that $28,000 a month is entirely to much for child support. This is more like parent support. The mom staying at home is not a prerequisite to increase child support. He should not be obligated to take care of her only his children. If need be he should take the children and raise hem himself to avoid this rediculous amount of support.There should be laws to ban this type of abusive misuse of the legal system. Maybe lawyers should look into creating a law or even penalties for mothers who are caught abusing and misusing support that is ment for the aid of children.
Sounds like a Typical Black man if you ask me. Im so sick of black men that I wish Black women would come together collectively and abandoned them.
Im sick and tired of Black men and their BS! She is just as bad because she scoped him out.
And started dealing with what other type of man???? White men?? White men are far more meaner than black men of Mr. Gary’s stature. This women would have been floating face down somewhere if she had done this to a white man.
Not all black men,there are still good ones out here like me..If a woman is a good one she will be connected to a good man etc…
I think what you meant was that it sounds like the typical Black Gold-Digging Bitch..thats more like it…Right?
You sound kinda bitter lady! This chick is taking advantage of the system. If she had been putting money away for the kids like she was supposed to their wouldn’t be anything Willie could have said. Im sure there would have been plenty of money left over to spend!! She’s lucky he don’t think about getting custody of them or having her spread her wings out the back end of the Wings of Justice!!! !LOL!
I am a black woman and I agree with Ed. Women should live and let live. The goal of child support is to provide the best care for the CHILD not the mother. Get up, get out, and do something for your da%# self. The only amount that should be covered in a child support calculation is shelter, food, clothing and education. The rest, momma needs to take care of. Clearly, this momma cant so maybe the daddy needs to go pick up his children.
I dont understand the female and her comments about black men, most of the black men that are trying to be around for thier children get nothing but trouble from the mothers. Those are the ones that dont work and want to sit around and gossip with thier buddies, jobless. When you see them they look like they jumped out of ebony magazine and the kids look bad. Why does color have to do with this? Nothing, because its just as many dead beat dads white as black, and believe me just as many dead beat mothers out thier also. I love my children and I have been on a roller coaster with thier mother, yes more than one. I was represented by Mr.Gary and he has done alot for our race, and he was normal to me, and I think the court, like myself look down on sucsseful black males who are doing something for thier. Ask yourself….what does she need with 28,000 dollars for the one child. Greed plain and simple. Three months is more than the average male taking care of a family…Women of all colors just stop putting all brothers down some of us try, like myself, and Im going to court and fighting like hell to get visitation and I pay support, and the mother makes it hard because she knows thats the only way she can hurt me……Keep it real
In the words of Jamie Foxx, “I ain’t saying she no gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke negroe.” He’s a well educated/intelligent, married millionaire. First of all, he’s married to another woman. Second of all, he should have been using condoms with someone he’s not married to because I’m sure she was/is engaged in other relationships. I ain’t mad at her, Diana Gowan. She’s my hero. Men need to think with their brain and not with their penis.
Furthermore, currently child support is not figured on the amount needed to raise a child; it is based on the person’s income. That’s where that thinking part should have come in. He had much more to lose than she did; as a matter of fact, she had nothing to lose & a lot to gain.
I’m sorry this had to come to the public’s eye for his wife, children, the law firm, and even him. I still have a lot of respect for him.
I hope Attorney Willie Gary wins the Supreme Court case! This woman is obviously self-serving and manipulative and no doubt conspired to get pregnant. So many women today use children as pawns to hurt the man or control him, and couldn’t careless about the damage they are doing to the child. The child essentially becomes a yo-yo and is “granted” to the father by the Custodial mother only when he “acts right” or complies with her every wish. Often these fathers, like Willie Gary have their own lives that don’t include these women, and could even be married. At that point, the game is even more elevated because the bitter woman attempts to use the child to break up the relationship he has chosen for his life. Trust me, I know. I used to be the main person saying, “There is nothing that should make a man stop fighting to have a relationship with his child”. But at a point, it becomes exhausting. The harassment never ends, and the court litigations…and the court couldn’t careless if the mother is yo-yo-ing the child–all the court cares about is CHILD SUPPORT. Let the man not pay what is ordered and all hell is exacted on his life! My husband’s ex-wife is a living terror
Did you all read the above. Diana had a career (nurse) and One child. And her brief affair with Willie Gary changed her life with twins. Coming from a single mother perspective. He lives lavishly why can’t she and Children,for that matter. While in the relationship I am sure he made empty promises to her like all men do. Diana, like any other (white) woman deserve to be a staty at home mom and drop her kids off at school, go to the gym, the mall, get a tummy tuck whatever the f&#% she want to do. If he(Mr. Gary) was so worried about having to pay child support then Mr. Gary the very smart ATTORNEY should have worn a rain coat. More than likely Mr. Gary Scoped her out like most men do and like any woman she went with the flow. I don’t blame her. As women we always want the best for our children and yes Mr. Gary could provide those things for her and her then one child, he went an added two children. Whose the Dummy him or her? I would say him. We teach our children to be careful and wear condems, what he thought he was the exception to the rule. Those children and her deserve to have just like he does. If he did not have the means we would have never heard about this story. They are his children and she is there mother, and now he must pay. Remember you can’t put a price on what it take to care for a child and in his case, his children are expensive because of his pocket book carries a lot of weight. Do the math that the government do to determine the amount of child support a person is suppose to pay. 13 million equals 28,000 a month. Obviously he new that or he would have never agreed to it.
This is unbelievable. $28,000 a month and not contributing to her children’s college fund. Yes, Willie should pay support for the children. Diana should support her own habits and lifestyle. Diana should get off her ass and get a job to provide for herself and older child. She is nothing but a gold digger.
as an African man i must say gary is a royal idiot
he was not held up at gun point. he had fun while it lasted. he agreed to the amount and now he’s crying foul
the woman saw someone she could get over on and gary was the willing clown…isn’t that what they teach in america anyway?
he should have kept his first name in his pants
lol, nice analysis
Dee Dee you sound like an angry overweight Black chick with daddy issues, no man regardless of race would ever want to be with a nagging complaining Btch like you anyhow. But keep this in mind, Black women like yourself continually perpetuate the negative image and stereotype of Black men in general. You ought maybe go seek out a Klansman because that’s how idiotic your statement sounds.
Are you kidding? You sound like a bigger idiot!
WHAT DID HE ACTUALLY THINK HE WAS GETTING, WHEN HE ELECTED TO HAVE A LONG TERM AFFAIR WITH HER? HE IS AN ATTORNEY, A BRILLIANT MAN, DID HE NOT THINK OF THE LEGALITY/THAT MANY LOVERS, PROSTITUTES CLAIM…HE HAS SEEN ALOT, I AM SURE!
Where is his dedication to his wife. You reap what you sow. We all make mistakes,but make your mistake using protection. We should take our marriage serious when you make a vow your not only making a vow to that womann,but to God. If you don’t want your wife anymore let her go instead of causing her more harm. Now his wife is suffering as well. This is causing 18+ years of problems at home. His lover I don’t fault her she only went as far as he let her go. It started out him spnsoring her, then turned into lovers. We live in a cruel world and alot of people in this world is about SELF. A man of his standard should know better. There’s no right in wrong….
WELL! She did get down, that is a real black woman. Most men these days dont pay alot of child support. My childs father pays only 18.39 a week. An that is what the judge thought he could pay. He had 2 jobs at the time, an that is all. I would love to get a 100 or 28,000 just more to take care of my child. Can i get alil more please. But he thinks that is all good. Now he has a wife an 2 other kids/ one on the way.(from a outside woman) brother please. stop having kids. u cant pay. I think she did get out of control with the money. But she let it go to the head. Am not like most woman, I just want him to help. She is 11yrs old now. Can I get a lawyer to help me. She can eat that up in a day. Diana Gowins help a girl out. Show me how to do that.
Just don’t pay. I dont!!! and no one does a thing to me!!!
You are a very irresponsible man
Coincidentally, I just looked him up on a search engine because my girlfriend told me he was just hittin’ on her down in Houston. Then, coincidentally, when I found him on the internet, he’s already in trouble with someone else for doing the exact same thing…cheating on his wife!! She’s the one who needs to leave him and get $35k/mo in alimony. Amazing how much you have to pay for a life of sin these days, huh?
What is wrong with half of you people? A woman deals with a married man and she is someone’s heroine? What do you think she is teaching her children when they grow up? Gary should have known better and kept his thing to himself and now it is costing him. It is sad because people are going to read about a successful black (Christian) man who could not discipline himself. Some of these women seek these men out and he knew that he had a lot to lose. If I were him, I would sit down with my wife (beg her) and take that child in. No one is considering the child at all. That is why the black communities keep on the likes of this type of woman who is shameless. And great men like Gary need to learn self discipline (read the Samson story). Everything that happened is wrong and what I am more concerned about is the child who will in the future one way or the other be messed up. That child will either resent Gary for being an absentee father and having an affair with his/her mother. That child will secretly hate his/her mother for not doing things the proper way. There we have it, another dysfuntional black man or woman is born
I’ve read all the previuos reply’s, wow its phenominal what people think opposed to what reality is. I refrain as being hypocrytical,and hope I can help culture balance to this which there are many going through the same thing Mr. Gary is currently experiencing. First of all my definition of a STAY AT HOME MOM is, you gotta HUSBAND ! ! ! HUSBAND ! ! ! I say a HUSBAND ! ! ! , hitting a 9 to 5.
This sister may create an unseened blemish for real sisters who need the child support system for real. Lets look at the entire perspective here. For all you Giant Killer crucifiers. Atty. Gary respectfully and responsibly stepped to plate like a true man regardless to race, took full responsibility of infidelity and adultery, volitarily gave Ms. Diana Gowins $28-reitirement seed thousands per month. Thats more than 280 families working for Philip Knight (NIKE)-owner pays his workers per month in China. Since Diana broke down the math, I can work the fractions a lil-bit my-black-self.
If I were a fly on the wall I think Diana saw blood and struck, just because he’s rich does’nt make him perfect. I pause for a moment to give high regards to THE REAL MRS. WILLIE GARY sistah you and Cammille Cosby know how to keep it real, you both aint trying to let theses tryfflin homewrekers tear down what you’ve worked so hard to build. The world is so blind to what wives of rich men have to endure, and for those who hope bad on Willie-Will, lets forgive them.
The gall of them saying he will reap what he sows. What are they saying, since Willie stepped outside, now you are suppose to dignify the same. ofcourse not, he is reaping yet still sowing that $28-grand a month. God deals with us in his own way. Let him without sin cast the first stone.
diana may have wanted to go public. I’m almost positive this issue was suppose to stay personal and private. Lets look at another element. Mr. Gary was paying this sistah. To me she probably never had this much money in her life, because anyone that had to work hard for theres most definitely aint throwing it into uneccessary splurges. Mr. And Mrs. Gary don’t splurge like that on frivilous things, not and staying consistant at making $13-maccaroni’s yearly this african is working like a hebrew slave, to stay on top of his game.
In resprect to Atty Gary., he is not a stupid man back to the math. If he pays $28-t’s a month@ 12months=$336,000 a year. Multiply that by possibly 18 years bare minimum, brings us to ruffly 6.1-6.5 million, what you say the brother makes $13 stacks a year. Truth of the matter could be, Atty. Gary could have threw a sistah a quick six-lick and called it a day, from the look of Diana’s spending rage those twins would have been broke before they were five to eight years old.
The first thing Diana probably would have tried to buy the largest house she could afford with their twins cash for the future, and its my prayers the old MC Hammer wasn’t the interior designer, puttin a million dollars worth of Italian tile and water falls large enough for whales to breed in.
Wille hang in their dogg, from Pahokee Florida off the muck, to Columbia, South Carolina where these folks still flying that flagg, we got your back. Much love to Diana Gowins, go get credit counseling to control your unfounded new welth you are now a millionaire, don’t come up looking bad in the end. and as far as his money taking care of other peoples children thats a flaw. willie knew you had kids before he started knocking you boots which-yo fine self, you foxxy now can’t take that, however Willie Gary was not at fault alone, you knew he was married before you got-cho groove on your as much responsible for disrespecting Mrs. Gary also.
when money comes into a household everyone ther is subject for support. Im sure the older siblings help with the twins, for dam sure, have to be all these trips, tummy tucks, diamond excursions, Diana is on, Good God from a burning bush, somebody haa to take care of thems-chullin.children should not be slighted. yes the money is for the twins but out of $28-chips a month aint nothing wrong with giving the older siblings an allowance.They just got the end of a sinful situation. I bet they scream halelujah every first of the month.
Hell !!! to the Tyler Perry nawhl. I would not beg my wife to take in no outside child I had thats stupid as hell, hale-luyer. Thats a conctant 18 year reminder that your husband was doing more than litigating, he was more like licky-gating. No she’s does not have to leave him for $35/k mon, all she needs is a good insurance policy, for the wages of sin is death, (just a joke-smiles everyone) we don’t wish death on anyone. Stop hating Wille is not an idiot, if he is. I wish I could the same $13 million dollar a year idiot. How much do you make, where his check is you better tripple yours i bet.
damn you wrote all of this!
The law is a crime. It has nothing to do with the well being of a child. Willie Gary was raised with less and he does not owe that woman that much or 5000. She should not be able to benefit from the current system that engages in genocide and has destroyed black families.
i met gary and he had nothing he could do for me financially. I do not love em but that is a robbery on both ends; him collecting that much money on me and people supporting the selling of offspring.
It is hard to find men friend when you look for fundamental flaws but we hang out with women and ignore the those same flaws and one should not gain for attempts to mate or sell sex through the law people all agree i do not understand the no change of the law.
HI THIS IS TO ALL OF YOU HAVE THE ANOINTING OF GOD ON YOUR LIFE DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET CAUGHT BY SUBMITTING TO THE FLESH GOD LOVES US ALL BUT NOT OUR SINS SO LET US RESTORE THOSE WHO HAVE FALLING SHORT BACK BY PRAYING THAT THEY WILL REPENT AND TURN FROM WHAT MAY HAVE CAUSE THEM TO SIN WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND HAVE NOT YET RECIEVE OUR GLORFIED BODY .I AM A BLACK WOMAN PREACHER WHO SEES AND HEAR A LOT OF THINGS PLEASE SUMIT UNTO THE LORD RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE WILL FLEE BE BLESS FOR GOD SEES ALL AND HE WILL REPAY
IM HIS GRAND CHILD. WANTING TO GO TO SCHOOL. AND I CANT GET A PENNY. HE HELP THE UNWANTED AND NOT WHOS IMPORTANT. NO COMMENT ON HOW MUCH HE PAYING.
Are you really his grandchild ,i have a hard time believing a man of his stature would let his blood fight for their own education when he has donated millions to others.
Not enough good men to go around.
Time to legalize bigamy and polygamy,
between consulting adults.
Cbman,
“Baby Mamas” and “illegitemate births” by women who seek to “tie-down” a specific man and a man who is too unwise to “strap-up” has rapidly become the FALL OF THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN RACE.
Unless we start embracing tried and proven values like MARRIAGE BEFORE BIRTH, we as a culture will continue to contribute to our own genocide.
Has this fool never heard of going to the doctor and getting his business cut so he would not get caught out their in such a situation. All that money and no common sense.
What the justice system does to men is a crime. MORE MEN SHOULD WEAR CONDOMS, or you’re life could be controlled and manipulated by a woman you wanted to sleep with and not be with for life. Women use these kids as pawns…they are meal tickets, weapons for controlling men, and emotional objects to keep a man who doesn’t even like you in your lonely pathetic lives out of desperation. MEN USE CONDOMS OR GET PLAYED. I am a woman and I have seen this time and time again. If you aren’t married to her, don’t trust her not to get pregnant. A baby is all you need to terrorize a man, take his livelihood, his money and his joy away. Lots of women just like to have control and see these men turn into puppets. If you can’t pay, your license is taken and you are thrown in jail. If you DON’T WANT TO BE A SLAVE TO A SLUT WEAR A CONDOM.
Bro. Gary did f-up but we all do…so everyone should ease up because if you live long enough eventually you’ll do something stupid..just can’t go through life without ’shit happening”…But why is it that black women ‘dog the man” all the time..where is the ‘SO-CALLED BLACK WOMEN SISTAHHOOD???..that should have had this women refuse to have sex with Gary because she knew he had a wife?She could have said” I’m flattered you want me BUT YOU’RE MARRIED AND I DON’T SLEEP/DATE OTHER WOMEN’S HUSBANDS.”..Where is that ethic amoungst “women”…so don’t just blame men ‘…ya’ll don’t respect each other…Peace out!!!
sometime people are caught up in the hype. Whe you search out to only date high profile men you will at some point get lucky. Willie, Tavist Smiley, Gerald Levert, Shaquile Oneal, Michael Jordan and the list goes on. At what point should only one parent be responsible for taking care of thier kids. A nursing degree means she should be able to go to work just like any other single parent. I am a single parent and so was my mom. It certainly did not take that much to care of us. At least start a foundation, help less fortunate kids, and if nothing else take care of the children’s college fund.
AMEN Martha!!
We really need to put this whole thing in perspective. The fact is that $13 million is over a million a month. He pays her $28,000/mo for 2 children which is only a little over 2 1/2 % of his monthly income. A drop in the bucket. His case would have greater merit if he had insisted on her saving the amount of money agreed upon for the children’s education. That, she should do. As for the tummy tuck, she could argue that it was the fact that she carried his twins for nine months that her tummy needed tucking and it’s not like she’s going to have one every month. There have been a lot of assumptions made by some of the responses. One being that Diana knew her was married in advance of their relationship. The may not be the case. He may have lied to her or told her that he and his wife weren’t together anymore, or they were in the process of getting a divorce. I’m sure many of you have either heard that before or even told it before. By the way, none of this has anything to do with his or her race… it’s a man/woman thing. May I also remind everyone, that in many states there is something called palimony that is used with the rich and famous. People who are in a relationship can sue for monies when they’ve been jilted by the one with the money, even when there are no children involved. So, it is reasonable to think that a woman who has given birth to the children of a millionaire would be justly compensated.
I’d also like to add that while it would have been nice of her to not get involved with him if she knew he was still married, the responsibility for fidelity to his wife was his and not hers. He was the one that took the vow and since he is a full grown man who appears to be muuuuch older than her, he had even greater responsibility. Sometimes, we a black folk can get caught up in that “poor little black man” conversation and forget about each person being responsible for their own behavior. As a married man, he had the personal responsibility to conduct himself in a monogamous manner that would not bring shame and grief to himself and his family. He has no one else to blame other than himself.
Feel sorry for the children he has and don’t and probably won’t have a relationship with. Now that’s the tragedy these children have a powerful, brilliant, and still very well respected father with other siblings they will never know. When men of that stature & power “fool around” they should have one little procedure done and that’s called a “vasectomy”. Why put your current family through the humiliation & embarrassment. of your well known infidelities. He’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last remember Jessie Jackson.
Martini,
I agree. I frankly blame the woman who got pregnant by him. Pregnancy can be prevented by so many different means BIRTH CONTROL PILLS….any woman who gets pregnant these days…wanted to, or either conspired to. Women kill me having these illegitimate kids and then demanding things from men who didn’t even like them in the 1st place but for only sex. A woman with a man’t child is an empowered woman…they feel they own the man at that point and the law allows them to terrorize the man. These women never even think about the kids…they’re just objects, pawns for controlling the man. Whatever happens to this woman…she gets what she deserves. She is taking money from another woman…HIS WIFE…who deserves it….and from this man’s household. If the law stops setting this women up for having illegitimate children and start penalizing them when they use their children as pawns against their own father, then all of this will stop. All of a sudden, popping out a child as a means for advancement or revenge won’t be so appealing anymore. The only ones that suffer are the children. But no one cares about them. Certainly not the mothers!
I don’t know why you’re blaming her, she wasn’t married. He was and he had the responsibility to his wife to be faithful and at least to protect her. He’s nasty anyway, since it’s evident he wasn’t using any protection with this woman and still sleeping with his wife. He’s the one that took money out of his wife’s household to spend on another woman. The fact is that most children born in or out of wedlock are cared for by their mothers with or without the help of the father. If it were not for mothers, I don’t know where most children would be and I doubt that you do either. It is sickening to me when people want to put all the blame on women for their getting pregnant. There aren’t many immaculate conceptions going on. Men are just as responsible for the pregnancy as the woman. If they were held equally responsible, we probably wouldn’t have so many illigitimate children born. In addition, I don’t think that any of us should sit and assume that he has nothing to do with his children and that they are suffering in anyway just because they aren’t married. If he is the upstanding man that you all seem to think he is, surely he would take time to be with his children too. These children aren’t suffering anymore than the 65% of children of divorced parents or deceased fathers or otherwise absent fathers.
Ladyd, you know that woman is a Golddigging slut that set out to get pregnant by this man so that she could cash in and then turn around a “play the innocent victim”. Why should she live wealthy…who the hell is she? She is just someone that he was stupid enough to trust a couple of times. And that “mother of his child” crap that women lay on men is some B.S. too. WHO CARES? The men don’t care about them…probably hate them! They were just a momentary “lay” and now they want to be elevated to some type of position in the man’s life. I hope he takes this ruthless viper back to court and keep her in court until she can’t fight anymore. He has the resources to do it…and since she is evil enough to use her kids as pawns against their father and as her meal ticket – he should teach her a lesson and deplete all her money….Should take the kids…she doesn’t care about them – that’s for sure. But then, why should the wife have to raise the illegitimate children? If he takes them, she can go back to the slums for which she came and scam some other thug.
Ladyd,
He isn’t seeing the children and I blame the MOTHER for that too. This woman has used these children against him and so they probably respresent torture to this man. People want these men to become slaves to women that have children by them through the system and then to have no anomosity for going through pure hell. I guarantee she parentally alienates him from those children or says he has to be with her (even if sexually) just to see the kids he pays $28,000 a month for. He gave up rights from my understanding and it’s the mother’s fault that anomosity has been breed between the father and the children —-SHE DID IT. This mother is 100% to blame for any tension between that father and those kids because she uses them as WEAPONS against him at every possible occasion. Countless women do this and then they wonder why the father’s run,, run, run…..RUN Gary! No one will blame you.
As long as these women are allowed to PUPPET children against their fathers in order to attempt to control the father’s life or for revenge against the dad…MEN WILL RUN. The system showed throw the mothers of these children in jail– when they make any demands on the father. The fathers aren’t married to these women so the woman has NO RIGHTS. They are no one to these fathers…the children are. These mothers need to get out of the way of their children’s rights to have a normal relationship with their fathers. The crap this golddigger is doing will cause a rift between this man and his children even after those kids are adults. It’s sad and pathetic– they have a SELFISH MOTHER. There are countless women like her.
Dear Sir
My name is Jimmy McDonald I am a glass art-is. I make lots of beautiful thing and people out of glass and mirror. I would like to make Attorney Willie Gary out of Glass and mirror. I will ship it to him Free of charge. if he agrees let him get in touch with me
and tell me how to send it to him. your friend Jimmy McDonald
Hello Mikki,
I’m assuming you are a very close friend of Attorney Gary or a close enemy of Diana Gowins to have so much inside information. As an outsider, I would think that if Attorney Gary was so concerned about his children and their well-being and his relationship with them, he would have taken her to court for joint custody, rather than crying about money. Apparently, he is not concerned about spending time with his twins, he’s just pissed about his nasty little secret becoming public. Being a well known attorney who is capable and intelligent about the law, he could certainly have requested visitation rights!! The fact is that he was caught with his pants way down and now he and people like you are trying to blame one of the victims….the other mother of his children. He is not the victim in this. He’s just reaping what he sowed. Don’t try to make a martyr out of him and his sinful deeds. It won’t work. That’s why she still continues to get $28,000 a month and will continue to do so until her twins are out of college. Hopefully, she is saving some of the money for their education, which is again something he should have requested in his court case. He’s just upset that she’s gotten her body back in shape and probably seeing other men now and not him and he’s paying for it. He had several options that would have prevented all of this….. Not committed adultery, used protection, or gotten a vasectomy. You may be able to think of some others that may be helpful to other would-be adulterers.
Wrong. I’ve been a victim of a viper opportunist like this woman. They pop out kids to controll men and then whine when the man doesn’t “puppet” immediately. I don’t know them but I know there are countless women like her, and countless pathetic situations like this. The kids are just collateral damage to these mothers. He would have been closer to them,. I BET, if the mother wasn’t such a controlling, manipulative viper! What does that have to do with the kids you say? Nothing and PLENTY. “Nothing” because the kids are innocent, and PLENTY because the mother has “attached” her manipulative self and her controlling agenda to those poor children, and now the father is just like FORGET IT, it’s just too much. People are human, and there is just so much any human can bear. As long as she has those kids, she will be using them as PAWNS. No one faults the mother…and despite her obvious disregard for her own children and their psychological and emotional well-being…all anyone can say is “he needs to spend more time with the kids.” She needs to stop using those kids as PAWNS. And, if he were to consider suing her for custody, he would need to check with his wife and make sure she was okay with that…after all, they are married and what she [THE WIFE] says (not the arbitrary “baby momma” says) GOES!
Ladyd,
You must be a “Baby Momma” who is right now extorting and manipulating some guy who doesn’t want to be with you and NEVER WILL, despite the fact you have his children. 2/3 of AA children are born out of wedlock and the statistics of the men actually marrying the “Baby’s Momma” after she tried to trap him with it is about 1% (ONE PERCENT). Good luck. He’ll never marry you and you will probably watch him fall in love and marry someone else and THEY will be picking up your child pawn for visitation.
Hello Mikki,
This is sad that you have turned Attorney Gary’s situation into a situation about you or me. But since you are apparently interested, I have 2 grown children, 2 grandchildren and was married to a very nice man for over 20 years. Yes, I was my babies momma and a very good one, as well as a very good wife. I’m sorry that you had problems with your baby’s momma, but if you would consider getting rid of some of that anger, you would probably have less problems. If your baby’s momma is giving you a difficult time about seeing your child (ren), you should take the time and effort to go to court and get visitation rights and then make sure you make those visits when you’re supposed to.
As for Attorney Gary, the subject of this blog, he should also get visitation rights and keep them. He should pay child support according to his children’s needs and his ability to pay and not according to what you or I think is a reasonable amount for him to pay. He definitely can afford it.
So Mikki, get over it. Do the right thing by your own children and stop trying to superimpose your life and situation into Willie Gary’s life.
I don’t get it…here’s a guy making 13,000,000 a year and he had his child support modified by the same judge I had with one major difference. $60,000 a year in child support represents .0046% or his income. My income went down 40% from $8,333 to $5,000 and the same judge denied my modification request. So what’s wrong with that picture? Go to:mychildsupportmodificationstory.com for the full story. It will blow your mind!
I am a woman married to a man who was briefly married to a woman a decade ago whom he shares a child with. Unfortunately, for him and the child the mother of the child couldn’t careless about her own child only agenda. She has used the child as a pawn for years against the father. It is pathetic. I used to think when a man is not active in a child’s life it was because he was a low-down coward but not always the case. Alot of the men labeled “dead-beat” dads are literally men who simply can’t take anymore of the obsessed, bitter baby momma’s and a system who supports their bitterness. My husband has visitation rights – but courts only slap the wrists of mother’s that use their children as pawns or try to parentally alienate them —Even actor Alec Baldwin has come out and written a book about this and how SICK the court systems are as it relates to this. The good thing is what goes around comes around and soon kids grow up and find out the truth and how their own mother’s actions had nothing to do with them or their best interests as a child, but were fully selfish and self-serving and then resentment towards the mother ensues. These two twins in the Gary case will grow up as well and see how their gold-digging mother conducted herself and fully sabatoged a good and wholesome relationship with their dad for years and she will be the “bad guy”, not Gary. Her karma is coming.
Hello again Mikki,
I’m glad you clarified your situation. One of my adult children is my son, who has a 15 year old son. He and his son’s mother are not married and they too have had difficulties over the years primarily because she has wanted my son to treat her as though she is also his responsibility. So I do clearly understand both sides of the coin. Over the years, I and other members of my family have done quite a bit to help my grandson’s mother in a variety of ways, sometimes to the chagrin of my son and his fiance. I have always advised my son that; 1) had he not gotten sexually involved with the woman, none of us would have had to be bothered; 2) my major concern is not with his difficulties or aggravations with her, but with the best interest of my grandson, especially since he (son) and the mother are adults; 3) as you have said, soon my grandson will be the age of majority and will make the decision about who he stays with, and I am positive it will be with my son.
On the flip side, as a result of my son remaining cool, calm and collected most of the time, he basically has joint custody of his son and sees him regularly every week. He has had to kiss is baby’s momma’s a_ _ on several occasions, but as I told him, that’s the price he has to pay for his mistake and to ensure he maintains a positive relationship with his son…..which is the most important thing in this situation. It really isn’t about my son or his baby’s momma and that’s what he has to keep in mind.
You are right, oftentimes the courts do lean in the direction of the mother when it comes to the care of the child. While there are many men who are responsible, like your husband and my son, there are a large number who haven’t been or aren’t. That is beginning to change and I think that the more it changes, the more the courts will change their attitudes when making judgements in these cases.
As for Attorney Gary, there is nothing in his story that indicates the mother of his twins are keeping him away from his kids or making it difficult for him to see them. So it’s wrong for you or I to make that assumption and to indict the mother for it. This story is really about the amount of money that he has been ORDERED to pay by the courts on two different occasions, which is $3,500 a week per child. For us ordinary people, that may sound like a lot of money, but for someone making $13 million a year or $250,000 a week, that’s a drop in the bucket.
I wish you, your husband and his child the best that life has to offer, which doesn’t come easy. I always tell my children and other people that I come in contact with, that if you want something in your life to change in a positive way, then you’ve got to change something that you do in a positive way. Don’t worry, I also have to remind myself of that periodically. : )
Ladyd,
Thanks for your response.
My husband and I have really been violated by this woman who he married briefly (less than 2 years) in his 20’s and had a daughter with before filing for divorce. He made a terrible mistake – she was eight years his senior, and now him and the child and now “me” as well are paying for it. This mother has really written the hand-book on how to terrorize, control and manipulate a man with a child and has thought of things, and done things, that most “normal” people can’t even conceive of. Everyone calls her “crazy” and knows there is something mentally wrong with her…but here is “the boot” Ladyd….My husband’s mom did the same thing to his father!!! And, although my husband’s mother has said countless times that his ex is a looney tune…she supports the idea of her remaining “front and center” in his life because they have a child.
His mother expects him to “kiss the A” (just like your son has had to do) of this woman who is obsessed with controlling him. Smal particular: He’s my husband! He’s divorced from her and married to me. His mother dismisses this fact and believes our lives should center around the whims of a crazy person.
Worse: My husband’s mother terrorized his father (who also divorced her) for 26 YEARS until his death! Yes, 26 YEARS…and only DEATH freed him from the constant manipulations with my husband and his sister used as pawns. My husband’s father was married to his 2nd wife for 26 years and my husband’s mother terrorized them and basically conducted herself publically as though they were a “Harem”. My husband’s mother and his ex-wife are a TEAM against us. The child rarely factors in…it is like an insidious CHESS GAME. We are stalked, harassed and slandered throughout our city. The ex-wife was thrown in jail on felong charges of Aggravated Stalking and was out in one day!!! My huband’s mother (notice I use this term and not Mother-in-Law) has gotten his ex-wife a job as an assistant to a powerful politician in our city…so now she has “card blanche” to do whatever she likes to us and basically get a slap on the wrist. Despite years of people in this city knowing and labeling his ex-wife as certifiably CRAZY…they are now “re-considering” and my husband’s mother has made it her campaign to establishe the “Mother of her grandchild” (as she says constantly, like a broken record) as some sane and together “socialite”. It is the sickest thing. Worse yet, she is telling people that me that I am a control freak and something is wrong with me (“flipping the script” so to speak). His mother has alot of contacts in the city and she has worked tirelessly to change the truth into an illusion. My so-called MIL married 4 men in an attempt to make my husband’s father jealous —– to no avail. The MIL was married and divorced FOUR TIMES. “They” are now claiming that my husband’s ex-wife got married last year. (Generational Lies and Dysfunction) We were thrilled. I guess they thought my husband who hasn’t cared anything about the ex in 10 years would finally care (weird). Turns out this “mystery husband” may not exis or may have been someone she briefly just dated. After estranging ourselves for two years, we are being stalked by several people the ex-wife knows who have passed the message to my husband that she is married. But the story quickly changed from she’s married to “they are already seperated after 7 months.” Then we were told “they are divorced”. And now we are being told that “perhaps they were never married”. This woman (the ex from the 1990s) still uses my husband’s surname.
My husband’s mother sends emails to his family often “blind CC-ing” me because she says “she doesn’t want to offend his ex-wife” (of 10 years ago??!!!) Oh, did I mention that she includes his ex-wife in the “family emails”??? hah! His entire family loathes this woman but tolerates my MIL’s absurdities because MIL is basically the “head” of the family and can manipulate anything. Whenever MIL has included me in the “family emails”, she has my name under my “maiden name” and the ex-wife under my husband’s name!!! Even stranger: I have been told by many that my husband’s mother actually likes me as a person and dislikes his ex-wife, believing she is crazy…but it just doesn’t matter to her because she (the ex) was married to him 1st and they have a child together.
If my husband wasn’t my soulmate I would have been gone. We met as kids. I could tell you somethings that have happened that would blow your mind. We finally estranged ourselves two years ago – because it got so ridiculous with the stalking and terrorizing – she even tried to get me fired from my job and was thrown in jail. For estranging ourselves for the incessant HARASSMENT we got this: The ex-wife went down and filed ABANDONMENT CHARGES on my husband. Abandonment charges have nothing to do with VISITATION or “not seeing” the child (The Courts couldn’t care less about that). Abandonment charges and a criminal warrant can be filed if the mother of the child has not received child support payment or any money at all (regardless of the amount) for 30 consecutive days. IT MUST BE 30 CONSECUTIVE DAYS. This was NOT the case. The payments posted 28 days apart, but she went down anyway and swore a false warrant. There is NOTHING in place to verify the mother’s claim so the Courts just take the custodial parents word for it—without making a call to the Child Support Agency or simply going on-line to see if something has posted within the last 30 days. The woman had the courts send notice to a bogus address and my husband had no idea UNTIL…..Our front door was busted down in the middle of the night and two police arrested him on this false warrant she swore. Our neighbors saw this and now we live in shame and were violated in the name of this child and her demonic mother again! My husband is getting a lawyer and the Courts claim if she swore this false warrant she will be in contempt – but I bet not. She will get a slap on the wrist. He now sends payments every 23 days. Not that this matters becaus she can do what ever she wants! The Court System as it stands now is a huge support and WEAPON for bitter women/ Exs who want to terrorrize, control, harass and manipulate a man who doesn’t want them or has divorced them. It is sick.
Oh, I forgot. Ran into the ex-wife and child after the “jail” humiliation. The ex-wife says she swore this false warrant because after two years of not speaking to her or his mother, “They” decided to put him in jail and then bail him out so that they could “talk to him”. Abandonment warrants are an automatic $2,500 cash. She said they were going to let him stay there for a few days to think about the fact he is not talking to them and then bail him out. Of course, I bailed him out. Both the ex and his own mother were very upset about this.
Ladyd,
I agree with you about the Wilie Gary child support amount. However, I think what would be reasonable (although the Courts are not) is that he pay the mother the $3,500 so that the child are living decently for now and then put $50,000 per week in a Trust Fund for the children to be accessed by them ONLY upon legal age.- That’s if he really makes $250,000 per week. This way the mother cannot use all of the children’smoney on herslf. She has already proven that it is “all about her” which is often the case. Why should she be able to use this money on herself. The Courts should set up a Trust Fund and Gary should have to put in money weekly or an annual “lump sum” for the children and the children ONLY. This opportunistic woman should get a job and work for a living and stop benefiting for her children’s DNA.
Hello Mikki,
One thing I’d like to say here that I want everyone who is in this kind of situation or thinking about marrying someone who has children (male or female), to understand that it is a package deal. And usually, that includes the children’s other parent, at least until that child is 18 and oftentimes longer. So the best thing is to figure out how to get along and don’t become jealous or insecure about the other woman or man. Also, don’t let that ex cause your relationship with family members to dwindle. You might win in the short term, but will lose in the long term, because blood is always thicker than water. Never underestimate the bond between a mother and her son.
Mikki, I wanted to ask you if you have any children? I ask that, because it sounds as though you don’t understand how you mother in law feels about her grandson. I will be honest with you, I gritted my teeth a lot of times when dealing with my grandson’s mother in order to keep the peace and to make sure that he has some symblance of a family without drama. A child does not deserve to grow up in a whole lot of drama, I don’t care who starts it. Someone has to be adult enough to stop it without alienating the child from either parent or from other family members. That person might have to be you. You may need to be the bigger person and stop the drama between you husband and ex by calling a truce and not letting her get the best of either of you. But in the absence of that, he should file a complaint and press charges for false arrest. I’m sure he has all of his documentation about his child support payments.
One other thing I’d like to say to you Mikki. Your tone of voice says that you are really stressed out about this whole situation and that it’s really getting at you. I’d suggest you and your husband seek some counseling so that the two of you can deal with it with a level head and in a way that allows him to continue a relationship with his child, without having to contend with the ex in anger. In otherwords, take control of your own feelings and behavior and don’t let her control your feelings and behavior. Also, if I were you, I would leave his mother out of this. She is going to stay in her grandson’s life no matter how it makes you or her son feel. In the long run, I will bet he will begin to appreciate the fact that she has.
Again, good luck to all of you and I hope you will begin to smile and relax and get rid of your own anger so it doesn’t eat you up inside.
My husband has estranged himself from his toxic mom, and divorced his sociopathic ex-wife 10 years ago.
A woman is only a “package deal” with the child when she is MARRIED to the man – NOT DIVORCED (hah!) Small Particular. When two people are divorced one parent doesn’t owe the other parent anything – they only owe the child.
Ladyd – Some of your thoughts only apply in a harem situation – but not in the U.S. where harems are not legal. Why would I be jealous of the ex-wife…she has NOTHING but bitterness, and is OBSESSED with my self and my husband’s relationship. Many acknowledge her sick patheticness.
I have a daughter by my 1st husband and I never used her as a pawn against her father nor “wagered” her for attention that is never received. The lesson for women is to know that if a man doesn’t want you without his child he won’t want you just because you have his child. The two are separate. A man has a right to love and nurture his child without the scorned parents issues clouding it.
In the end, we will still be happily married…and she will still be bitter and spinning her wheels. She has done this for the 1st ten years of her child’s life and she only has eight more years to use this child (until 18). The bitter mother is no further now, than she was 10 years ago. My husband loathes her and loves his child.
When people don’t move on and attempt to alter another’s will this does create anger you are right. The anger I feel about the obsessed mother attempting to stay in my life is not even a tenth of what this wacko feels about me and her jealousy of me is really enormous….She even changes her appearance when I change mine…scary and of course psychotic. If I change my hair coloring, the sociopath will change hers.
The child is a girl and I couldn’t care less what kind of relationship she has with my husband’s evil mother – That is her grandmother and is none of my business. I only step in when it involves me and my choices, my husband and our family. When his mother meddles in our family, it is now my business.
We still don’t talk to his toxic mother and probably never will. She had countless opportunities to change and never could. Some people are so toxic that your life is much better without them…just because they are a blood relative doesn’t mean they have your best interest at heart, nor does it make you obligated to welcome them and their drama into your life. The door will remain shut, and we are both at peace with than. I speak for my husband too. Husband and wives are one.
Ladyd,
I appreciate your advice…but I will not take on the task of stopping the drama. Some people crave drama. I do not. My husband and I have decided to estrange ourselves from the toxic drama. I agree. Someone has to care for this child, but why should it be me? The mother doesn’t care enough for her own child not to continue to use her as a pawn. Why is this my responsibility? I love the child but I love myself more and my husband. We will not continue to be victimized, sacrificials lambs for some bitter woman who my husband was married to briefly and then divorced.
Really, until the mother starts putting her own child ahead of her own selfish agenda, this child will suffer. It is up to the mother to stop her selfish, sick behavior. She must learn to move on and start putting her own child 1st. I will not take on this task. It is not my responsiblity….and I decided after the last offense…it is no longer my cross to bear.
Mikki,
I think you misunderstood me again. The package is the spouse and their child, including all the good and bad that goes along with that, which could include the child’s other parent with whom you have to coordinate the child’s needs and upbringing. If there was no child, then the divorce would have eliminated any need or reason to deal with the other person at all. Sweetheart, that has absolutely nothing to do with a harem. That has to do with a child needing their two parents, or at least one parent acting adult enough to help them have as normal a childhood as possible.
However, if I were in a similar situation and had a manipulating ex-husband using my child as a pawn, there’s no way in hell that I would allow him and his crazy behavior to make me give up my relationship with my child. Likewise, I wouldn’t allow my mother, brother, new husband or anyone else to make me stop seeing and taking time with my child. I don’t give a d _ _n what they did or what my ex did. That just wouldn’t happen, cause I would find some kind of way to make sure I maintained my relationship with my child. That’s my responsibility as a parent and no one else’s. I would hope and expect that my new husband would be supportive of my efforts to maintain my parental responsibility regardless of the stupidity of my ex.
I realize that as a mother, I might see it differently that some father’s do, but I really believe that grown folks ought to act like grown folks when it comes to the welfare of the children they bring into this world. You see, I’m a child advocate and I really don’t rat’s you know what about how the adults in the scenerio feel; their pride, egos, anger, embarrassment, hurt feelings, pocketbooks, etc. Cause when you take the steps to become a parent, it ceases to be about you and your feelings of comfort, and now is about raising an innocent child who didn’t ask to be here with all your drama.
While you say that it’s not your responsibility, my dear Mikki, you accepted some responsibility for that child when you accepted his proposal for marriage. When you said, “I do”, knowing he was a father, you also said I do to becoming a step-mother to his child. I’m sorry, but you can’t love him completely, without loving his child too, since she is an extension of him. Think of this in the reverse. Suppose you had a child, whom you love and was going through a similar situation with an ex, I’m sure you would want your husband to show his love for you by helping you continue your relationship with your child. We may see things differently, but I wouldn’t want a spouse that wouldn’t help me fight for my child(ren), by all means necessary. To be honest with you, I would lose love for my husband if he didn’t show love for my child by helping me maintain a close relationship with him/her.
In any case Mikki, you and your husband will have to make the decision about how you will continue to handle this situation. It really no longer has to do with his ex-wife or his mother anymore. It’s really about what kind of MAN and FATHER he is and is going to be to his daughter, his first and foremost responsibility, even before you. He needs to man up and not let his daughter continue to suffer his absence. Neither he nor you have any control over his ex-wife or his mother, but you can have control over your own behavior and your own attitudes. Remember, mimicry is the best form of flattery. It’s not something that you have to get angry about.
I will definitely pray for you both and particularly for his child. I know that he and you have had great turmoil and grief over this situation, but I also know that his daughter has suffered unnecessarily in this mess too. Whether it’s because of the actions of her mother, grandmother, the courts, the schools, the neighbors or whatever you consider to be toxic, he doesn’t really have the luxury of giving up on his child. She’s not toxic and she is his child and his responsibility. And not just financially.
I know I’m quite a bit older than you and I can guarantee you that I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life. I can tell from what you’ve written each time that you are really a caring person who is concerned about your husband and his child. I can tell you want to do what is right and would like to do it without his ex-wife being in the picture at all. That’s the biggest problem with those package deals. It’s like having 6 toes…. you have to learn to live with it. lol
My husband will have to make his own decision about where he goes from here. I am removing myself emotionally from the dysfunction. We have fought for this child to have a normal upbringing…fought and fought but the mother continues to harm the child with her actions. I actually commend my husband for “hanging in there” as long as he has…most men would have been gone. Trust fme FAR, FAR AWAY. The frequency and the insidiousness of the madness is really tiring. I have decided for myself to stop helping him with this matter. The mom has used the child since she was one yr. old and the kid is 10 years old now…really SAD. My husband is aware that I will not continue to have any more drama from the sociopathic mother. I will no longer be manipulated, etc. If he wants to fall for anything else…he can, but he risks losing me if drama is brought back into our lives on the level on which it was in the past. Frankly, I have done all I can to be actively supportive, but it has worn me out and I will not do it ever again. I will be silently supportive of anything he does, but will remove myself if I see drama unfolding. He will have to make a choice. The fact is…if the mother cared about her child, we wouldn’t even be having this dialogue.
I think alot of men have been fighting with bitter lonely mothers who refuses to let go and live their lives….move on. These bitter women put themselves and their desires above their child and then try to control the man this way. Bottom-line, men don’t like to be controlled…especially by a woman they don’t want.
I have hope that the mother will stop it, but she hasn’t in ten years. It’s not going to be my problem anymore though. It is no longer my burden to bear (the biiter woman that is). After 10 years of being divorced, any reasonable person would have moved on. Regardless, it will no longer be my problem. The drama has solidified our marriage though…we are more determined than ever to make sure this evil doesn’t destroy us. His relationship with his child matters, but believe me….so does our marriage…our vows matter too. I do love the child…she is innocent. The child and I really have a good relationship….but the turmoil her mother has put us in has really taken a toil. It is hard, and I work all the time…to separate the two. My husband is a good man and a GREAT FATHER…but he is HUMAN. There is truly just so much anyone can take.
African-Americans needs to start valuing MARRIAGE again, like our grandparents did. Haing a baby with someone, isn’t marriage and entitles you to nothing but a “CS check”. That’s it.
A Judge recently granted that my husband can pick up his child from school on Friday and bring her back to school on Monday mornings…thereby eliminating the psycho-ex altogether. If we see her, we can call the police. My husband said that is exactly what we will do. The ex has been jailed for felony aggravated stalking of us in 2006, so she has a history of it and a police wouldn’t hesitate to act on behalf of our safety.
We will have separate sporting events and activities for his daughter. Our desire is to not have to lay eyes on this woman who has violated us repeatedly until graduation day (high school) that is. There’s a beauty in this type of peace that can not be put into words. So now, the ex-wife is not in the picture per The Judge!!!! hahahahahah! This “package deal”…that really official ended TEN YEARS AGO when my husband divorced her….is REALLY officially OVER now. hahahahahahaha!
Ladyd,
I don’t feel good about the fact that my husband couldn’t have a “normal” PARENTAL relationship with his ex. This would be ideal for the child…but it is impossible in this situation. The mother has herself to blame for this, fully and completely. We extended ourselves and she harassed, terrorized and stalked us for years in return. My ex-husband and I have an ideal parental relationship. Primarily because we have “healthy boundaries” established and we do not cross them. He is re-married as well, and his wife and I get along very well, because I respect them and they respect me. We don’t have alot of communication…which we ALL love…and so when my ex-husband, his wife, and myself do communicate about my daughter, the communication is extremely good. My daughter talks to her father every single day and goes to visit him frequently (he lives out of town). My ex-husband’s wife is very kind to me because I respect them and their marriage. We don’t talk but a couple a times a year (his wife and myself) but when we do…we can stay on the phone for over an hour…laughing and catching up. If I suddenly started to “pretend” like I was still married to my ex-husband and began calling him constantly, disrespecting her and living in a delusional world…there would be a problem quickly. So, my husband has the very worse situation I have ever seen where a child and an obsessive ex-spouse is involved and my ex-husband and I have one of the best. It’s kind of funny but I guess this provides a glimpes of “normalcy” in parenting that keeps my husband and I grounded. Clear and healthy boundaries are essential for respectful relationships..be them parental or otherwise. Both parents must accept and adhere to the boundaries for it to work best for the child. I extended myself to my ex-husband’s spouse for tow reasons…1) I knew she would be active in my daughter’s life. When my daughter stays with her father, his wife cooks for her and takes care of her just as much as her father does – the wife lives there! Why on earth a mother would want to make an “enemy” out of a woman who has that much control over their child I don’t know. It makes absolutely no sense. 2) I was no longer a part of his life…my daughter is, not me…his wife and his daughter (who happens to be mine as well) is his family.
My husband will never have this type of normal parental relationship with his ex…he doesn’t want it at all now that she has harassed him for 10 years and neither do I. She destroyed this…no one else but her.
that’s waaaay to much money
I trust you would not have reservations if I placed a part of this on my univeristy blog?