From Barely Legal:
“I have nothing to declare but my genius” - Oscar Wilde
Most law students see law school as a means to an end. Even though law school is boring, they grit their teeth, do the work, and get out of there to cash in on their J.D. Not the Philosopher. Philosophers are actually interested in the law in and of itself. They deeply care about the theories behind it. Philosophers enjoy discussing the law, even in social settings. While the rest of us are only focused on learning the black letter rules, Philosophers are passionate about learning the why of the law.
Spotting the Philosopher can be tricky. Just because someone speaks out a lot in class, or seems to enjoy the material doesn’t necessarily make them a Philosopher. They may very well just be a nerd, or enjoy the sound of their own voice. Philosophers go beyond mere nerdiness or mental masturbation. Philosophers treat classroom discussions as life-or-death struggles for the greater good.
Typically, the Philosopher will be either ultra-liberal or ultra-conservative. But it goes beyond mere politics. Philosophers have drunk the kool-aid of party rhetoric and aim to make everyone know which side of the aisle they sit on.
On one side, wearing tattered jeans and a thrift shop t-shirt is the liberal Philosopher. He or she attended a Liberal Arts college, was heavily involved in organizations like Students for Choice and Young Democrats, and had a ridiculous major, such as “Post Modern Feminist Thought”, “Greek Literature”, or “Education”. The liberal Philosopher will find racism, sexism, ageism, or any other -ism in just about any case. Often, they will use phrases such as “fundamental concepts of human rights” to support his or her legal theory…in Contracts.
On the other side, wearing freshly pressed khakis and a crisp Oxford shirt is the Conservative Philosopher. This is the kid who read Atlas Shrugged and it “changed their life.” The Conservative Philosopher was much more practical in choosing an undergraduate institution and major (No public subsidies for him: he went to a good old fashioned private college like Duke or Emory). He was an economics or political science major, as there was not yet a course of study in “Reaganomics”. The Conservative Philosopher isn’t a shrill as the Liberal, instead dismissing concepts he disagrees with by dismissively shaking his head and making points that sound as if they were prepared by Karl Rove.
When the two Philosophers butt heads, there is never a winner. There is, however, always a loser: Their poor classmates who are subjected to listening to them.
Spotting the Old Guy is easy: He’ll at least be in his mid-thirties, if not older; he’ll probably be a bit doughy; there is a good chance that he’ll sport a mustache and/or beard; and he’ll be just uncool enough to make you feel like you are taking class with your dad.
