Guy Kawasaki Doesn’t Care About Lawyers

September 27, 2007 by Michael Law
Filed under: Lawyers

Okay, I know I’m parodying Kanye West’s infamous line about George Bush.

I like being controversial with my headlines. So sue me (actually don’t sue me.. please).

On a recent blog post, Guy Kawasaki (author of Art of the Start) gave this top ten (sixteen?) list of “lawyer lies” (Tim Berry goes into it too)

“I’m really excited about what you are doing and will give your company my personal attention.”
“Our firm is really excited about what you’re doing, so we’d like to invest in your company too.”
“We can work on the billing so that you pay us when you get financed.”
“I’ll have that to you by the end of the day.”
“Don’t worry about the date on that option grant; it’s not a big deal.”
“The bill would be lower if it weren’t for the lawyers on the other side.”
“I thought you were more interested in getting it right rather than saving a few dollars.”
“Your case is much stronger than theirs; I’m sure we can convince them.”
“We have relationships at the highest level in Shanghai/Munich/Mumbai/New York/LA.”
“We’d much rather be on the company side than on the investor side.”
“We usually don’t bill the full retainer; it only happens if there are unforeseen issues that come up.”
“Sure we’re busy, but I’ll make sure you don’t get handed off to a green associate.”
“I’ve done work with Google/Microsoft/Apple, so I know how to structure deals with them.”
“We think you will have a very strong patent.”
“We know the opposing attorneys, so we’ll be able to work out something quickly and cheaply.”
“I can call several venture capitalists to help you secure funding.”