The Tort Song for Lawyers

From Who Cares What You Think:

A tort is a tort
In court, in court
And any old wrong can support a tort
That is, in short,
Unless the court
Defers to a statute instead.

Go right to the court
And claim a tort!
With evi-den-tia-ry support
‘most any old problem that you report
Will net you lots of bread!

Conservative people will tout reform
They’re nothing but corporate shills
Our way is the proper way and the norm
For those with our legal skills!

A tort is a tort,
In court, in court,
And you never, no never will come up short
In even the court of the last resort…

With a case like this:

The plaintiff wound up dead!